Ready for a midlife reset? First, take stock of your strengths.
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When’s the last time you asked yourself: What do I love to do? What makes me feel alive?
Earlier this year, as Ailsa Chang planned her 50th birthday party, I welcomed her to this side of life. Ailsa and I pick up that conversation on All Things Considered as I launch a new podcast, Your Turn with Allison Aubrey, aimed at navigating the twists and turns of midlife.
If you’ve been focused on work deadlines and family obligations, without much time to focus on yourself, you’re in good company. And in midlife, a lot can shift: Kids launch. Careers and relationships change. These transitions can be tough, but they also open the door to what’s next.
So, I went in search of tools to help me find my way. I invite you to join the Your Turn newsletter journey – starting with this survey that ranks your character strengths.
Start with a strengths survey
The VIA Character Strengths Survey is a free online questionnaire developed by researchers in positive psychology, the scientific study of what helps people flourish. The question behind it: How do we go from feeling just OK to thriving?
“Character Strengths are the positive parts of your personality that impact how you think, feel and behave,” explains the VIA Institute on Character. After you answer a series of questions, the survey rank-orders 24 strengths, from creativity, humor and teamwork to curiosity, bravery and spirituality.
Research suggests that applying your strengths in daily life can help boost wellbeing and reduce stress. And a study of women 50 and older, found those who used a signature strength in a new way, had increased levels of happiness and less depression.
The survey takes about 15 to 20 minutes to complete. You can take it on your own or with a facilitator. I took it at a retreat at the Modern Elder Academy with Christine Carter, Ph.D., a wellness and lifestyle coach, and a senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.
Your strengths are a compass
Carter says there’s value in reflecting on the results.
“What I really like people to do is take it and then look at their top strengths and remember how you feel when you’re engaging that strength,” she told me. “I think that it can be a real compass for the types of intrinsic motivation that we’re looking for in finding our purpose.”
Carter has an art degree and used to be a painter. Appreciation of beauty and excellence ranks near the top of her list, along with gratitude and zest. When she’s absorbed in a work of art or a great piece of writing, she says, she feels part of something bigger than herself.
One of my top strengths is a love of learning, a good match for a career in journalism. I get to learn something new every day.
What if your results don’t resonate?
This happens a lot. Your top strengths can reflect where you’ve been and how you’ve been spending your time. The good news: They aren’t fixed. “Your character strengths can evolve,” Carter says. Shift your focus, or how you spend your time, and your results can shift too.
3 questions to ask as you review your strengths
- Which strengths do I want to cultivate? Look for a strength you value but haven’t made time for. If creativity ranks lower than you’d expect, that’s a sign of where to invest a little time. “Humans are meaning makers,” Carter says. As your roles shift, so can your sense of purpose. A new project or hobby doesn’t need to be big. It just needs to be true to you.
- What brought me joy as a kid? Think back to what absorbed you before life got busy, whether it was exploring the woods, drawing or singing in a choir. Then look for the strengths behind it. If appreciation of beauty ranks high, more time in nature or at a concert may be what feeds you.
- What do I want to leave behind? Notice the habits and expectations that no longer serve you. Change takes courage, especially when it means letting go of something to make room for what’s next. But many people who’ve made big midlife changes describe it as freeing.
If you have a half hour this week, take the survey. Then pick one strength you’d like to make more room for, and invite it into your life. You don’t need to overhaul your life to start; one small step can set you on a new course.
